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Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Over and over again I am tremendously hurt of the fact that no matter how hard I tell the truth, no one believes in me...not even my sister. What pleasure and happiness in life that one experiences that listening and telling the whole truth is a big deal. Do all sweet words often are the only news everyday? I am not asking for money and instant action when I confess and tell everything just to laid the remedy. I am heavily laden with burden and all I want is not an empty chair. I want to express the hurt I felt and be heard by someone. For in this way, I find light from the heavy burden.
Being the sole responsibility absorber is not too easy. I have lots of obligations that I need to face and work them out instead of running away from them. If I only think of myself, if I am egocentric type of person, I should not mind others. I probably would enjoy my life and what this earth brings. But I AM NOT LIKE THAT. I deeply touch and moved by my sister's unfortunate situations that I need to stand and be the father, mother and sister to them. They don't have the proper education. They don't have the enough force to defend themselves when someone dehumanize them. They are less fortunate. They need me. They need help.
I don't want to leave them alone. I don't want to see them suffering from too much miseries and pains. They need me. I need them. In fact, my heart bleeds with much tears everytime I hear them saying that they are mistreated, scolded and abused by the hands of the selfish people. I could not tolerate seeing them suffering in the territory of the scrupulous minds while I am enjoying a blissful living.
Why I am like this? This is not the kind of life that dream of. I want to see them always happy and free from abuses and maltreatment. Who would bear when they told me when I was not here that they are being spank, screamed of, do endless errands (like a domestic helper of their own house), etc.
Do I need to be happy for that mischievous acts?
Not even a pinch, a whip, bad words, a scar...I don't want them to experience those.
But in totality, whenever I share these all to someone, it ends up that I am always on the unjustifiable side.
Though, I can't blame someone for she is in the pleasure of enjoying life now. All she wanted is the happy-ending stories all day but I can't assure her for in TOTAL DARKNESS, she should know that is where the truer meaning of life resides.
Being the sole responsibility absorber is not too easy. I have lots of obligations that I need to face and work them out instead of running away from them. If I only think of myself, if I am egocentric type of person, I should not mind others. I probably would enjoy my life and what this earth brings. But I AM NOT LIKE THAT. I deeply touch and moved by my sister's unfortunate situations that I need to stand and be the father, mother and sister to them. They don't have the proper education. They don't have the enough force to defend themselves when someone dehumanize them. They are less fortunate. They need me. They need help.
I don't want to leave them alone. I don't want to see them suffering from too much miseries and pains. They need me. I need them. In fact, my heart bleeds with much tears everytime I hear them saying that they are mistreated, scolded and abused by the hands of the selfish people. I could not tolerate seeing them suffering in the territory of the scrupulous minds while I am enjoying a blissful living.
Why I am like this? This is not the kind of life that dream of. I want to see them always happy and free from abuses and maltreatment. Who would bear when they told me when I was not here that they are being spank, screamed of, do endless errands (like a domestic helper of their own house), etc.
Do I need to be happy for that mischievous acts?
Not even a pinch, a whip, bad words, a scar...I don't want them to experience those.
But in totality, whenever I share these all to someone, it ends up that I am always on the unjustifiable side.
Though, I can't blame someone for she is in the pleasure of enjoying life now. All she wanted is the happy-ending stories all day but I can't assure her for in TOTAL DARKNESS, she should know that is where the truer meaning of life resides.
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